Tag Archives: Tony Romo

Fire up the Jet, the NFL is back baby!

8 Sep

Tony Romo? Really? The power of being a Cowboy people.

After an offseason that seemed only slightly less than a decade long, the NFL is back and so am I.
Did the Saints really win the Superbowl only in February? Did I really lose a packet on Peyton Manning’s 4th quarter meltdown? That was THIS YEAR? Not 2005? Hawking is right in his new book: time as we understand it is meaningless outside of our perception of it, and we create our version of history as our brains only experience time sequentially (NB: may not actually be the point he’s trying to make).

The last few years it has been fashionable to claim that the NFL runs all year, thanks to the Draft and constant offseason drama. Except for this year. The Draft? Meh. Ndamukong Suh was easily the best player (a massive and quick defensive tackle taken by the Detroit Lions, he can start on his Hall of Fame speech now) and he was still beaten out by a QB who I like (Sam Bradford, about to meat tenderised in St Louis) but who has the charisma of 4 day old bread.
4 day old white bread.

Off-season drama? Brett Favre un-retired again after being fellated by 3 players in a private jet (NB: metaphorically people!), and Ben Roethlisberger made an unwelcome sperm deposit on a woman in a nightclub bathroom while an off-duty cop watched the door.
This is NEWS? This is an NFL offseason? Pah. That’s barely an afternoon’s work for the Premier League.
When the highlight of the NFL Dead Zone is the Jets’ living embodiment Rex Ryan dropping f-bombs on HBO, well, lets just say thank god for the World Cup and Wayne Rooney’s sex life.
Here is the big sexy Rexy man himself. He takes a bit to get going, but he gets there.  (It’s a link because the embed code is crocked):

Rex Ryan Hard Knocks Speech (NSFW)

Bear in mind this is Rex AFTER the fitting of a lap-band.

To the highlight games of the week then (all days US time):

Well put



A repeat of January’s NFC Championship Game high tempo/great skills game, which turned on a late 4th Quarter interception from Ol’ Man Favre.
This won’t be anywhere near that close. The Saints are going to start hot mon cherie, and Favre, while still a football genius and a leader, no matter the diva off-field stuff, hasn’t had enough reps to get in sync yet with the Vikings terrific receiving corps.
The Vikings are going to be really REALLY good this year by the way.
The Saints are firing already – let’s hope they don’t peak early.

COLIN COWHERD (85% on picks the last 2 years) AGREES

I listen to Colin every day on ESPN Radio. If you’re up at 3am on a weekday (NZ time) you’ll hear one of the best sports shows on air anywhere in the world. You get used to the nasal whine eventually, but no-one uses dead air better than Cowherd. If you care about US sports, and/or a fan of sports radio in general, check him out. (Note: He was also the commentator we heard on major HBO boxing events in NZ & Australia in the 90’s)

Colin looking like a dick on SportsNation



I grew up in the Marv Levy four straight Superbowl losses Bills era so I will always have a soft spot for these guys. Its destined to be the NFL’s first international team, if you count Canada, and Canadians certainly do. Ex Dallas coach Chan Gailey has the reins now, and despite appearances (Chan looks mostly like an angry marshmallow) he’s a good coach. However Miami are better, and its still warm in Buffalo.



There has never been a collection of crazies like the ’10 Bengals since perhaps the heyday of the ’80’s Cowboys. TO and Ochocinco on the same team?? Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones?? There are 4 (!) reality shows being filmed simultaneously with various members of the team, and the team as a whole. How many 20 year old interns with Sony Z1s are there in this world? (Don’t answer that). I have NO IDEA if they are going to be any good. Neither do they.

COLIN AGREES (I’m not cheating! Honest!)


The Cowboys are loaded but are still led by someone who has more luck with the ladies off the field (see top) than he does with men on it. I’m just not sold on Tony Romo. You put Stafford, Matt Ryan or Rogers on this team and they are an NFC Championship lock. Romo is like Favre without the genius. At a crucial time he will F*CK YOU. Probably why he’s so popular wit hthe fairer sex actually.
This is Game 1 of the Shanahan-era Redskins. I loath Mike Shanahan. He is completely over-rated as a coach (Elway did all the work), and has the mein of Roy Schneider’s evil cardigan wearing CEO in ‘The Rainmaker’. The Redskins have upgraded their QB and their running game, and will be substantially better than last year with or without Albert Haynesworth. But they lose here.




The Jets are the sexy team this year, but wow the Ravens are good. This is a homecoming of sorts for Rex Ryan who built the awesome Ravens defense. The Ravens also picked up great possession receiver TJ Houshmanzadeh last week, who gives monobrow Flacco another serious target. If the Jets are for real, they have to be able to win games like this. Let’s see how real they are.

COLIN AGREES AGAIN!  It’s like we’re twins.



15 Jan

I’m still reeling from the Pete Carroll to the Seattle Seahawks news (they will now win the Super Bowl in 2013-14, mark my words), and the airwaves here are pretty much a 24/7 Lane Kiffen-comes-to-save-USC blizzard, so its on to the games folks.

One quick pitstop to admire Mr Kiffen’s wife:

Move over Elin Nordegren - There's a new blonde in town


So it turns out that the greatest QB of this generation may actually be Kurt Warner. Manning will one day rise to rule them all, but even he pales against the singular greatness of an on-fire Warner. If he gets that extra 10th of a second to make the throw then you are totally fucked. He says he can feel it before a game, that he knows when its going to happen. Perhaps his total God-focus means he is able to stay calm no matter the situation. Who cares what it is. When it happens you are watching someone play the position as well as it can possibly be played. If that happens again, New Orleans are out, and we start talking about Cardinals coach Ken Wisenhunt as the genius he may well be (Won a SB with the Steelers as an assistant, takes joke franchise to 1 SB so far).

It's hot wife week here at the Skinny


The Colts took the end of the season off which supposedly spells doom for them. Bullshit. Unless the Ravens woke up their offense this week I think Manning and Co crushes them.


Too close to call. Two QBs having good-to-great seasons, two excellent running games, two excellent defenses (Dallas actually have the edge there). Playing inside Minnesota’s dome, so the action will be fast. Both teams have a LOT to play for: for Favre this about legacy, for Romo this is about credibility. If Romo plays well in this game, and Dallas wins, he is a made man in the league, and all past sins will be forgiven. Obviously if Favre wins then he is only one more game away from doing a Kurt Warner and taking two different teams to a Super Bowl. The flipside of this is that both are capable of imploding. I say neither does and this is a shootout. I honestly don’t know what would make me happier – the sight of Wade Phillips’ fat rolls quivering with happiness at his most significant playoff win or the distant sound of yet more rending of garments from Wisconsin. (PS: Ok Green Bay you were totally screwed over at the end of last week’s game, but you WILL be back with Aaron Rodgers around).


The most aggressive running game meets a deadly passing attack. Gargantuan Jets coach Rex Ryan is one of the most entertaining things about the NFL right now, so long may this run continue. And while San Diego have the fading Ladanian Tomlinson and the firecracker Darren Sproles they will ride QB Phillip Rivers’ rifle arm. If SD can cope with the Jets punishing ground game they will take it. The Jets have completely overachieved via skill and a TON of luck. If it ends here, that’s a great season. If it continues, look for one of the most exuberant, funniest press conferences in history to follow.
Also, there’s this:

Its for the kids I guess. Please god when will this 80’s revival end?
Uh, actually, you can leave those legwarmers on….

– Mark Tierney