Tag Archives: Brett Favre

Crunch Time In The Bayou

22 Jan

Kim K. She'll be behind Reggie Bush. And then later, he'll be behind her.

High Noon At The Superdome.
Or Battle Of The Gunslingers.
Or any other ESPN-like sobriquet. I feel like Colin Cowherd right now (and kudos to him for having a media career with a name like that. The only people cool enough to get away with a name like Colin are drunken Irishmen and Barbasian cricketers).

There are two games this weekend, but while both have points to recommend them, its the NFC Championship game between the Vikings and the Saints that has story lines that transcend the NFL.

40 year old Brett Favre vs reborn gunslinger 30 year old Drew Brees.

Running backs Adrian Peterson and Reggie Bush both trying to live up to frustratingly unrealised potential.

A team that mortgaged its soul for a shot at the SuperBowl(see BrettFavre/Vikings above) vs a team that have NEVER been there.

Prince vs Kim Kardashian for celebrity mascot.

PS: Carl Jrs? EXCELLENT. Their ‘Six Dollar Burger’ (which costs $4 – don’t ask) is a slice of beetroot away from perfection.

And finally something about how a trip to the Superbowl will finally ‘heal’ New Orleans after Katrina.
I have no idea how that one is supposed to work – I can’t imagine too many residents of the 9th Ward were season ticket holders – but the American media have been repeating it ad-nauseum since 2006 so it must be true right? Right?
Its like ‘√ćnvictus’ : sport heals all wounds and makes cities/countries feel better about/ignore being poor and decrepit.

Sport is very good like that apparently.

It’s dizzying. I have no idea who to root for in this.
I will feel bad for whomever loses.
That’s pretty rare in this game.

There is no point reiterating here the Brett Favre story. Do I think he’s a vacillating, me-first dick? Yes. Did I find the below endearing somehow? Yes. Yes I did.

[Damn! YouTube took the clip down. Ok, Imagine Brett Favre doing a VERY bad version of the American Idol viral hit ‘Pants On The Ground’ in a charged up Vikings locker room as a payoff on a bet with an injured receiver. You have no idea what I’m talking about do you? Ok, carry on]

But now that I’m older than the oldest QB playing in the NFL (the real gut check time – passing captain of the ABs in your late 30’s), I don’t care about any of the off field stuff. I just want to watch him chuck it 50 yards on a rope.
Can he still do that?
Hell, yes.

Last week he threw a touchdown to hot receiver Sidney Rice that was the equivalent of landing a football nose down on a beer coaster that was doing 30 miles an hour away from you.

Rice never broke stride and the ball LANDED IN HIS LEFT HAND.
Zinzan’s famous over-the-head omelette flip, Randy Johnson killing a seagull with a fastball, and LeBron’s full court baskets notwithstanding, it was one of the most amazing throws I have ever seen.
For that he can behave as much like the high school jock who just won’t leave school as long as he likes.

MINNESOTA VIKINGS v NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

Picking a winner here is very tough. If both teams play to their full potential this is actually a low scoring, brutal game. On that basis its the Vikings.
But if New Orleans can hold its nerve, and Bush plays as he did last week behind that awesome offensive line, the Saints take it.
But I’ll stick with the Vikings by 7, if for no other reason than having BF in the SB will make television ratings history.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS v NEW YORK JETS

Not that this game is chopped liver, but when the most entertaining person on one side is the coach (the fantastic Rex Ryan) that’s not good.
If NY wins this, then yes there is a Santa Claus.
A Santa Claus dressed in a XXXXXXL green hoodie and fresh from the Bada Bing.

Satin Dolls in Lodi NJ, the actual Bada Bing.

With their excellent defense and strong running game they will give the Colts fits initially, but it will only take Manning & Co 5 good minutes at any time in the game to beat the Jets.
Bookies always give points: in this one I’ll give turnovers. Indy can fumble or be intercepted up to 5 times and they will still win.
Its been a terrific, amazing ride for Sexy Rexy and the Sanchize, but it ends here.

Unless it doesn’t.

3 more hours then back to the babes, Mark.

– Mark Tierney

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Romo-Bromance

15 Jan

I’m still reeling from the Pete Carroll to the Seattle Seahawks news (they will now win the Super Bowl in 2013-14, mark my words), and the airwaves here are pretty much a 24/7 Lane Kiffen-comes-to-save-USC blizzard, so its on to the games folks.

One quick pitstop to admire Mr Kiffen’s wife:

Move over Elin Nordegren - There's a new blonde in town

ARIZONA CARDINALS v NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

So it turns out that the greatest QB of this generation may actually be Kurt Warner. Manning will one day rise to rule them all, but even he pales against the singular greatness of an on-fire Warner. If he gets that extra 10th of a second to make the throw then you are totally fucked. He says he can feel it before a game, that he knows when its going to happen. Perhaps his total God-focus means he is able to stay calm no matter the situation. Who cares what it is. When it happens you are watching someone play the position as well as it can possibly be played. If that happens again, New Orleans are out, and we start talking about Cardinals coach Ken Wisenhunt as the genius he may well be (Won a SB with the Steelers as an assistant, takes joke franchise to 1 SB so far).

It's hot wife week here at the Skinny

BALTIMORE RAVENS v INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

The Colts took the end of the season off which supposedly spells doom for them. Bullshit. Unless the Ravens woke up their offense this week I think Manning and Co crushes them.

DALLAS COWBOYS v MINNESOTA VIKINGS

Too close to call. Two QBs having good-to-great seasons, two excellent running games, two excellent defenses (Dallas actually have the edge there). Playing inside Minnesota’s dome, so the action will be fast. Both teams have a LOT to play for: for Favre this about legacy, for Romo this is about credibility. If Romo plays well in this game, and Dallas wins, he is a made man in the league, and all past sins will be forgiven. Obviously if Favre wins then he is only one more game away from doing a Kurt Warner and taking two different teams to a Super Bowl. The flipside of this is that both are capable of imploding. I say neither does and this is a shootout. I honestly don’t know what would make me happier – the sight of Wade Phillips’ fat rolls quivering with happiness at his most significant playoff win or the distant sound of yet more rending of garments from Wisconsin. (PS: Ok Green Bay you were totally screwed over at the end of last week’s game, but you WILL be back with Aaron Rodgers around).

NEW YORK JETS v SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

The most aggressive running game meets a deadly passing attack. Gargantuan Jets coach Rex Ryan is one of the most entertaining things about the NFL right now, so long may this run continue. And while San Diego have the fading Ladanian Tomlinson and the firecracker Darren Sproles they will ride QB Phillip Rivers’ rifle arm. If SD can cope with the Jets punishing ground game they will take it. The Jets have completely overachieved via skill and a TON of luck. If it ends here, that’s a great season. If it continues, look for one of the most exuberant, funniest press conferences in history to follow.
Also, there’s this:

Its for the kids I guess. Please god when will this 80’s revival end?
Uh, actually, you can leave those legwarmers on….

– Mark Tierney